The Family Court is much like the vampire of lore: it cannot come into your home unless someone invites it: once it’s in your home, you cannot force it to leave; and when it’s in, it can do things over which you will have no control. Because no one would knowingly invite such a destructive force as a vampire into their home, the vampire generally has to trick one of the occupants into inviting it. The Family Court, on the other hand, seduces its prey into inviting it in by promising something more alluring and laudable…“justice.”
People often believe that simply because they have the truth on their side, that the skies should part and justice will simply rain down because it is Right. The sad truth is that, just as you have your side of the story, the other side has their version as well; and the Court has neither the resources, nor frankly the patience, to muddle through the minutia that is your long-term interpersonal relationship. Instead, the Court generally relies on the impression it gets from very short hearings, coupled with the given judge’s personal proclivities and mood on a given day, to make decisions that will profoundly impact your and your family’s lives in both the short and long term.
To give the vampire his due, this is why judges very much prefer a situation where people will “gut it out” and settle their issues/disputes between themselves or their attorneys. The judges know that the parties in a case possess the facts, details, and the experience to be in the best position to make sound and logical decisions for their own family. For instance, I have often heard judges say to parents words to the effect of: “Given that you both obviously love and care for your children so much, I have a very hard time understanding why you would put these very important decisions about them into the hands of a total stranger. If you both love them so much, why don’t you prove it? Put your animosity for one another aside and put the children first for their sake.” These are hard words to hear from the bench, because often times they ring true.
The Family Court, as such, is only there to decide the things that you cannot come to agreement on. Very rarely does one side completely win and the other side completely lose. More often, everyone feels like the loser and no one is happy. When you trade your own power to compromise for a shot in front of a judge, you are stuck with what the judge does, and it may fall short of your expectations.
Think hard about inviting the vampire into your home. It may seem like a good idea at the time, but you could also end up regretting it.
We have had many cases where we have gotten parties through their entire divorce without stepping a foot inside the courtroom. It is grueling work for the parties, given the emotional investment and toll, but it is ultimately worth the effort in the long run.
The experienced attorneys at Sandia Family Law understand the issues that arise during this time and can help you manuever through Family Court.
We provide our clients with a free consultation to help you decide if litigation is necessary for you to reach your divorce agreement. Contact us today at 505-247-1726 today!